High school started last month and;
I don’t really know what to make of it.
It isn’t necessarily that I can’t handle it, I’ve learned far more about self perseverance and it’s grown. But it’s just taken me some time to get used to it all. To get used to the prospect of the next four years of my life. And it hasn’t been all that bad, except for one or two times where I’ve been tempted to
cry.
But nothing a little perseverance can’t undo!
I’ve already been swamped with homework but I usually try to complete it right away. And sitting through lectures is something I’ve become to excel at. But, middle school and high school really doesn’t have a smooth in-between. And sure you get equipped for the main subjects and cycle of classes, but it doesn’t prepare you for the completely different vibes you get from high school itself.
So for the past couple weeks(after recovering from the slight mental shock)I’ve kept my head high and my self esteem a bit low. My current goal is to take college coarses throughout high school for college credit, study early for the SAT tests and CAT test, take AP and Honours class in the coming years; and try not to break under the pressure of it all. And it’s now my main focus. But I won’t study myself to the point where I have a severe burn out. No way, that’s not my vibe. But I’m going to try my hardest, push myself to do more, and reach my goals and my dream.
Ever since I’ve stepped foot on my high school campus, I already knew in my heart that everyone would go there separate ways pursuing their own goals. My friends, classmates I’ve known since kindergarten. We’re growing up and stopped clinging to the haze of middle school, to the clear path we have to pave for ourselves in high school and beyond.
I’m being kept very busy by school work and such, so my blogging seems to have come to multiple halts which I’m trying to mend. So, if you’re wondering about the significant lack of content, it’s probably because I’m writing an essay for English, solving equations for Algebra, studying DNA for biology, conjugating verbs in Spanish, practicing my saxophone for Jazz Band, or snapping pictures and editing them for Photography Arts class.
Or all of the above.
So here it is everyone!
Yosemite, once again.
Ever since I was little, I had this fascination with things that were near myths; stories that were used to meddle with a child’s view of the world. Perceived as fiction, but is it really?
Throughout childhood, mermaids would flick their periwinkle tails on the dozens of sheets of paper littering my portion of the desk of my first grade classroom, inky hair flowing behind them. I would imagine the glittering jewels of the unknown see, palaces rising out from the sea floor as it’s citizens went about. Fairies wings glistened as I ran a graphite pencil along their gossamer ailerons. Dressed in downturned flowers and wearing hats with acorn shells and strings of lavender us to tuck their hair behind their prolix ears. Dragons would bear their articulate teeth on thick sketchbook paper as I waited for passing periods to end between classes in the sixth grade. Eyes unrelenting and boar into it’s viewer, I would spend hours just perfecting the smallest details rather than the overall picture but I still felt proud after finishing each piece. Even if they looked like demonetized pool noodles with wings.
Magic has always been something that I believed in, from childhood to now; I find myself longing to soar above the clouds, mounted onto the back of a pegasi, to have sword in hand as I leap from mast to star board as I fight side by side with Peter Pan. Sometimes, I even wish that the ceilings of my bedroom were made of glass rather than hard wood; so I can gaze up into the night sky until my eyes become heavy. Lulling to sleep from the pounding of the rains in the fall and spring. Because when I look at the night sky, just before I go to sleep; I feel light and content. Even though it isn’t like a storybook or a fable, it feels close enough that I can let all of reality melt away.
But looking at mountains and trees that brush the sky, turquoise waters that pool around massive boulders, tortoises that could just as well be dinosaurs. This is all elemental augury that we can’t compare to anything else. And it all seems normal because we’ve seem them, heard of them, know they exist. And that’s why none of us seem to accept the fact that it is in fact, “real” magic.
And you know what?
Real magic is walking alone on a wooden path as the sky turns from purple to blue. Real magic is digging your fingers into fine sand as the sun sets over the sea. Real magic is climbing into the warm covers as rain pounds outside, kissing the roofs with a constant pitter patter. Real magic is sitting quietly, watching the stars twinkle their hellos into the night.
Real magic is already grounded for us on the earth, celestial or not, whether you believe it or not. It’s there.
But, nowadays, it’s hard to do that when all the people around you are two busy trying to capture each of these elements on their phones, rather than with their eyes.
It’s funny; when people are given access to a smartphone of some kind, everyone seems to think that every little thing they are doing undoubtedly needs to be shown to the rest of their world. I say “their” world instead of “the” because, we send it to the people who we know, who we think that care. Friends, family, close acquaintances.
Sending these are much different from sending an article, a piece of art, real time photography/videography. Sharing those just make the people around you more aware of the fact that incredible things like this exist, or it might be something helpful to someone’s health or gives useful knowledge to the foreholder. That kind of sharing is okay for anybody.
But there’s a very clear line between sharing and oversharing.
Sharing is as simple as a couple pictures and videos in a one or two week time frame. Not too much, not too little, but just enough to let the person on the receiving end knows your constant, and you won’t come off as too clingy; which is definitely a plus.
But if your basically broadcasting your entire life to everyone, every couple of minutes on social media, your text archives, to hundreds of people you don’t even know in the real world; then sorry to tell ya buddy but you’re a little wishy-washy.
Whatever we send, a picture or video from a recent roadtrip, a morning selfie under the sunlight, a quick snap of your breakfast, a black cat sitting under the windowsill, a group shot under a sign, or a silly selfie complete with peace signs and smiling faces. These little moments are what ground us to who we are, what we love, and are what we always look forward to seeing the moment you realize that it’s there, it happened, and it’s yours.
Sometimes, I sit straight up in bed, awake before anyone else, completely still, just watching little specks of dust dance in the air near the window. The rest of the neighborhood breathing a sigh of relief, once the constrains of a busy week has finally let go. To let us catch our breath, wipe away the work we had endured as we bathe into the warm embrace of our free days. It’ll usually be seven or eight o’clock in the morning, and I revel in the fact that I had the capability to wake up early on the days when the busy schedule school day doesn’t need to be applied. My mom would find it a shock to have found me awake before eight in the morning, on my own without fuss. It’s one those rare moments when I awake with a sense of eagerness rather than the urge to smack my head down onto my pillow again.
It’s little moments like that, that can make you whole and happy. No matter how flamboyant, adventurous, or headstrong. We all need a little escape, a little window we can slip into when stressed or in a dark place. It makes wherever you experienced it, like home. And the fact that we have lived long enough to understand just that, is a feat in itself.
Even though I usually have the brain capacity of a peanut, it’s good to know that you have boundaries when it comes to getting personal with people. Especially considering that in this day and age, some random person could send a meme to the Queen of England if they wanted to(for the sake of keeping our countries at mutual respect for each other, lets purge that idea from our heads)
Sure that picture of your morning avocado toast is cute, and that shot of your new designer shoes is somewhat aesthetically pleasing. But at the end of the day, it’s just like the hundreds of pieces of toast and designer shoes posted by others on social media. Nowadays, a lot of people will go out of their way to take just one shot to post and share with other people. Situations like that have led to terrible accidents and tragedy that could’ve been prevented.
All in all, I think we should consider our safety rather than the irrational need to show the world that you went to this place, ate this food, met this person, or did this thing; just to photograph it happening rather than enjoy it while it lasted.
Thinking back, it’s crazy that it was just a month or two since my uncle and his family went back to India, our summer days left with laying out on our deck watching the birds, sipping fresh smoothies while chatting, the air conditioning running. Sitting in the library reading alone, while my brother finishes reading lessons with his tutor. The days went on almost idly, preferable to the frenzied days where my dad has work, my brother and I have school, and my sister, well; she spends her days picking through stuff in my bedroom, or in the kitchen; finding what she likes and carry it around with her for the majority of the day. And quite frequently, using it as a projectile when something of a nuisance is near her(insects, food, me, etc). I say that there’s no difference in her summer schedule and the rest of the year.
I think our summer was less productively spent. But rather, used as a well deserved time to relax, not having to worry about projects, essays, concerts, or lectures.
My family doesn’t go out often, most of our days usually spent at home enjoying each other’s company and just doing work or hanging around(apart from my parents; my dad who has work throughout the week, and my mom who’s constantly doing something around the house and keeping all of us in check)And it’s always like that, school time or not; and I like it. Course we still go out throughout the week, I mean we’re not complete hermits okay? Like little shopping trips, everyday workouts in the gym, shorts walks in the nearby school grounds, or trips to the nearby department store; like any normal person. And obviously the library is a constant in our routine throughout the week no matter what time of year.
The farthest we had gone this summer was Lake Tahoe, and we still hadn’t gone on our yearly Yosemite trip, so lo and behold; just a couple days later we had a room booked and our clothes packed and ready.
From hindsight, it would’ve looked like we were going on a cross-country road trip, not an overnight stay. My mom went all out with the packing, just like our trip to Lake Tahoe. She thought over every single possible situation too;
Stomachache? Here’s some castor oil.
Need to keep the baby entertained? Here’s a couple books and toys to keep the kid quiet and without fussing for a couple moments.
Want a snack? Here’s a massive stock of chips and edibles from Costco, so you aren’t allowed to starve.
Want a specific type of food? I brought the rice cooker, an electric stove, and(almost)every possible cooking utensil in existence.
Injured? Here, bandages, Neosporin, and a hug.
Bored? Here’s some books on the Kindle and a couple toys.
Want something cooled? Stick it in the ice chest.
Need your phone charged? Here’s, like, five charging cables, a power bank, and a couple adapters.
Feeling nauseous? Some small trash bags that smell like baby powder, nausea relief pills, and a lemon should do the trick.
Need hygiene products? I’ve brought sanitary pads, small tubes of shampoo, moisturizer, and body wash, Chapstick, floss, deodorant, and everything you could possibly need to keep your body clean.
To be completely honest with you, without my mom’s antics and packing perks, I don’t think our traveling would be nearly as smooth. And yes, in the days before travel, our house is always a bit hectic. But it’s was all worth it while we peacefully drove along the freeway listening to old Tamil songs and praying that one of the two smaller children wouldn’t throw up from motion sickness.
My mom had spent the night before preparing savory puff pastries the night before, a favorite amongst our family. And it was only fitting that we brought some along to eat on our trip. We all munched on our snacks while driving further towards our destination. Flakes from the puffs were falling into our laps and stuck to the seats. My sister was in a funky mood from having woken up so early into the morning and I sympathized. I poked her cheek with a fresh pastry but that probably wasn’t the best approach since she looked like she wanted to push me out through the window.
So I took back the pastry and bit into myself all the while trying to keep my little sister from deciding that she wanted to disown her big sister. Which, considering the direction I took to get her to eat; wasn’t necessarily going well. The drive itself to Yosemite is generally about three to four hours long, give or take. So I came prepared with earbuds and a sick playlist to boot. I also get really tired very easily when driving in a car; and the prospect of having to sit for three to four hours in the same spot was all that appealing. And I probably had the worst seat in the car too. Which was smack in between my sister’s car seat, and my brother.
So there I was, the oldest sibling sandwiched between the munchkins who had the advantage of being able to comfortably lean onto one side or the other if they needed to if they got tired. While I couldn’t lean onto my sister’s car seat without feeling like I was going to dislocate my shoulder. And mind you I like my shoulder and I intend to keep it attached to it’s socket thank you very much.
I looked at my sister in envy as she sat primly in her plush car seat, cushioning on every side and a seat belt that didn’t dig into her neck and chin. But this seating arrangement has become customary ever since my little sister was born, so until she grows out of her car seat(I’ll probably be graduating from high school or entering college by then)this was how it was going to be for a while until that time comes. So I sucked it up and listened to my playlist while praying one or both of my siblings didn’t have any gastrointestinal troubles throughout the trip.
But I wasn’t feeling that good myself, since I had just hit my monthlies(ladies you know what I’m talking about)so very subtle waves of nausea and fatigue would creep up at me and make the car ride all the while worse. Thankfully, my parents said they wanted to stop at a nearby Subway sand which shop to grab a bit of lunch to eat when we arrived. I used the restroom and before we exited the shop, my dad said he was gonna go to the convenience store that was nearby to grab some lemonade for me. He must’ve heard me tell my mom because even through my thorough protests he went out a grudgingly bought an canteen of lemonade. I was really grateful though, because the sour taste splashed onto my tongue and immediately felt refreshing.
I have a bit of a sweet and sour tooth if that makes sense. I have a soft spot for a lot of little confections like mochi and strawberry filled, well, anything. I usually try to keep my sweet tooth down but still can’t resist little bites here and there. But my attraction to sour things is completely different and a little, I guess, bizarre now that I think about it.
You see, when I was probably three years old, it was one of my first trips in to India. And my grandmother and grandfather had a lime tree right outside the front of their house, that still thrives today. Standing proudly while distributing lemons to the birds and squirrels, and, well, the ground.
My mom said that I was tailing my grandmother in the kitchen-as children do-and being the sweet women she is, I guess she decided to give me something to eat to sate me over. That little edible ended up being a lemon. My mom said that I had taken a bite, but instead of scrunching up my face and being traumatized for life with a fear of citral acidic chemical reactions mixing within my saliva; I loved it(God that sounded better in my head)And I still do today! I like that zing you get once you bite into something sour, the tasting lingers in your mouth for a while rather than fading away. And when it’s a fresh fruit, it feels refreshing and makes your mouth feel cleansed and detoxified. Not to mention that the citric acid can help clear up light nausea. With those acidic properties, it also manages to attack the dirty germs that linger in your mouth and teeth.
When I tell my friends this, I get one of three reactions:
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“Oh you too? I love sour things! But only candy not actual-like-fruits.” Then they proceed to almost choke as they attempt to eat a Sourpatch Kids candy.
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“Man, I just love eating a refreshing lemon on a hot day. It really hits the spot doesn’t it? No one else really gets that feel do they?”
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Proceed to back away in muted terror
Since we had left so early into the morning, we had reached Mariposa County around midday, the rolling hills glowed under the sunlight, our eyes scanning the view outside. The windows were rolled down all the way, wind whipped our hair and whistled in our ears and we raised our voices just to talk to each other. However, the winding road didn’t seem that good for my sister though, because by the time we decided to take a little break from all the driving(well specifically my dad since he’s had to keep his foot on the gas pedal almost constantly since we left.
. . .
So, that’s a wrap on the first part of Yosemite, and in all honesty, I’m a little disappointed I couldn’t write more but it’s nearly 11:00 and I’ve got school tomorrow. I decided to focus more on the philosophical details of this post, mainly because a lot of us don’t really decide on our own to pay attention to details like that anymore. And I wanted to emphasize the fact that living in the moment is what the real reward is, rather than a couple likes on your archive. And in this day and age it’s nearly impossible to control, but it doesn’t hurt to try.
Well, I’ve already got a lot of content drafted for you guys which are certainly on the way.
Stay happy, stay eternal.
An’ G’night!