Is it summer break yet?

So I don’t know what’s wrong with my current dashboard, but when I was writing this post, the format of the entire script was fine. But once I put this on the official interface; the format looks all screwed up in the reading preview. So I’m really sorry if the paragraphs and the general text looks really weird. I seriously don’t know what happened, but I’m trying my best to fix it as quick as I can. So fingers crossed that this cursed formatting comes to an end!


Ever since high school started, my usual everyday school routine completely transformed, from scrambling around the house trying to find my other shoe or phone or whatever, skidding around the house, while simultaneously eating whatever breakfast that was shoved into my mouth in my manic to get out everything I need for school; in one piece.

 Including myself.
 
 
Because there have been multiple occasions where I almost ended up in the ER because of how reckless and clumsy my minstrations can be.
 
 
But nowadays, I wake up at the literal crack of dawn, and sometimes, it’s still pretty darn dark outside.
 
Like, I can see the stars and the moon dark.
 
My mental monologue itself is just extremely passive aggressive in the wee hours of the morning, as I try to get my clothes, toothbrush, hairbrush, my sanity, and toddle into the shower. And I also wonder naively as to why I decided to choose a zero period class.
 
 
Freshmen. Year.
 
If you ask me at 5:45 in morning if I like this particular change in the everyday, I would be tempted to ask if you would like to go take an illegal visit to the nearest group of Californian grizzly bears and try to make friends with them.
 
 
I’m sure it would be a lovely visit.
 
 
Especially if said person was doused in fresh honey.
 
 
To make matters worse, it’s only been a couple weeks since summer ended and fall started, and I assumed the weather would whip itself into shape at any given time, gradually and slowly.
 
 
But instead, it just went N Y O O M  and B A M.
 
 
We went from sitting out suffering in the heat of the beating sun like baked potatoes, to bundling up in scarves, thick sweaters and jackets, and booties and walking around wishing fire is one of the elements we could actually posses in our hands. Or at least have some way to make ourselves and others warm. And it’s only been at least a week. And we are in the low sixties to fifties. I’m not an avid Game of Thrones viewer or anything, but I never thought I could sympathize with the phrase, “Winter is coming.”As much as I do now.
 
 
 
Don’t get me wrong, I love autumn and winter. Both of which are my favorite seasons. But it’s kinda irritating when my fuzzy socks slip just a little under my heel and the cold starts biting at the exposed skin, and I’m tempted to call Life Alert, to inform them that I’ve been overexposed to temperatures under sixty degrees.
 
 
But I somehow manage to get by, grudging yes, without turning into a popsicle in the process.
 
 
Most of the time.
 
 
But it does take me about five or ten minutes to revive my fingers from their numb state, and are completely dead to the world. And ironically, on most days I have Jazz Band right in the morning. Which requires me to play my saxophone. Which requires me to vigorously move my fingers. And  if I don’t have Jazz class to help me warm up my otherwise rigid fingers, I’ll have to walk into English class without the ability to write anything for a solid couple minutes.
 
Which is essentially like telling a yogi to break their meditation session to go an binge-watch Netflix for an extremely unhealthy(but totally worth it) seven to eight hours of their day.
 
 
Anyway, since my dad usually has to go to work at 6:30 in the morning, and I have 0 period at 7, we both leave the house together; only taking a little over five minutes before we arrive at my school, before my dad drives off to work.
 
 
With that said, my dear readers, wherever in the world you are, here is the everyday life of a freshmen high school student in the United States.
 
*jazz hands*
 
 
7:00: 0 Period Jazz Band
 
So, if we’re going by traditional standards, our band is pretty big compared to how conventional jazz groups actually are. With forty-eight students in the group, from all grades, ranging from clusters of freshmen to a sprinkle of juniors and seniors, our band is legitimately diverse too.
 
 
Our teacher is an exuberant, kind women; and I have a lot of respect for her because she actually takes her students emotions and struggles into account. Rather than brushing them off as a burden. And I’ve learned that in high school, having a person like that, is something of a blessing.
 
 
But large band or not, you can’t expect us to nail down a 12 bar blues scale, and two, two to three page songs in the span of 45 minutes, when it’s 7:00 in the morning and no one is a morning person.
 
 
But luckily, I love jazz. It’s one of my favorite musical genres out there and I find it to be rich with so many different branches attached to various parts of the world. I grew up listening to it as a kid, and I have my dad to thank for exposing me to smooth jazz and such. I like listening to jazz or soft piano or orchestral music when I’m doing homework or when I’m studying for an exam. So it was only right that I randomly decided to play the saxophone in a whim of determination last year and joined Jazz Band.
 
 
I’ve also made a numerous amount of new friends in each of my classes, Jazz Band included. I befriended two girls who also played alto sax, one who is also in my P.E. class, and the other in my English class. Both girls and I have quickly become friends, which make the early morning screeching of trombones and various mixes of instruments, just a little more bearable.
 
Plus, our first performance is coming up in the next week, and it’s even more exciting because it’s also going to be our fanciest one too! Instead of polos with our school’s name and what ensemble we’re in, we ladies dress in custom, black, floor length dresses, and the gentlemen in fitted tuxedos. The theme of the event is Latin American culture and style, so the music we play are going to be like mambos and stuff.
 
7:50- 8:45 AM: English 1
 
After frantically putting away my saxophone and sheet music, and tucking them away into their designated shelves. I walk out of the music(room, hall? I don’t know it’s too big for me to designate properly). Then I break into a spazzed walk since my next class is literally on the other side of the campus.  So I make I mad dash for it just before the the five minute bell rings. Disheveled and already wanting to go home, I scramble quickly to my seat,  giving the teacher an acknowledging nod and smile as she greets me with a “Hello” and continues prepping her desk and classroom.
 
 
I set my backpack down and grab my English Binder, a copy of To Kill a Mockingbird(Since we’re reading it in class for the rest of the semester)a book I brought to read throughout the day and in between passing periods, and my fuzzy grey kitten pencil case with two equally as squishy and soft keychains, one is an adorable little round shaped penguin I got from the Monterey Bay aquarium in the summer that just passed, and a little dinosaur from the popular Japanese cartoon character group “Sumikko Gurashi” From a Japanese dollar store that I recently discovered, (and come to obsess over)Having these little plushies just makes my day a bit happier and makes me smile every time I pull them out for each of my classes. And it also reminds me to never forget my MUCH NEEDED pencil case to each and everyone one of my classes.
 
 
To nearly no one’s surprise, English is one of my favorite subjects, and I love explaining and teaching it to other people; and with this blog archive, I’ve been able to grow a little stronger with my writing and understanding of storytelling, and how to stand for whatever point you’re trying to make clear, and try to improve the aspects of writing I was weak in. Like poetry.
 

Equinox

Take your mask off when you speak to me. 

Take in my confession, 

Take the masks of your norm

And crush them. 

I knew someone once.

A heart of fire.

Each step like a cannon

 of in the distance

Hair resembling thorns and briar.

Eyes playful and mysterious.

Deep and radiant with just a hint of cacao. 

Always deep, yet never serious.

And they said, with a voice like    

“My dreams reach the stars, daring to touch them. 

Radiate their light. 

Can you see them?”

And I said, I knew.

I agreed, I screamed, I cried out.

No one spoke to me in this way before.

In fact,

 it left me with doubts.

Dreams are the afterthoughts of my loves.

They keep me going when the world isn’t enough.

All of my outlandish thoughts soaring like doves,

As each day passes without a single stop.

But they didn’t stop there.

They said 

“When we grow older,

 we fear the stars. 

Burrowing ourselves into a normalcy 

that can let our dreams bleed.

And then leave dead scars.”

The world now embodies the dark side of my dreams,

Your lies aren’t needed to ease these pains. 

I know what’s going on,

I know what will come.

I know I know I know.

These inner pains, 

the world’s scars 

They tie together in an equinox. 

The moon, the stars.

Thousands of questions,

No answers.

With each day passing, life will never stop. 

It stops for no one 

even when the world is still.  

The stains of our sins staying like coffee on a napkin

Each minute the pressure of the atmosphere 

Drops.

But there will always be a light, 

Of hope, of determination, 

The maps of our lives are now blank and white.

Our goals taking on their own destination.

Take your mask off when you speak to me. 

Take in my confession, 

Take the shattered pieces of your norm

And eradicate them.

I’m not especially proud of this poem, I mean I wrote it last year and we were given a strict set of rules to follow with this project and I did try my best. But looking back at this piece, I kinda wanna hide away in embarrassment. I mean, it’s not my best work, but I guess it kinda proves to myself that I kinda improved with my poetry skills in the process of suffering through this project.

But improvement or not, high school just sets the bar higher for what society actually expects from you, especially when you graduate from high school and onto to college. Because each year of high school English, whether it being a general, AP, or Honors class; each is designed for you to succeed in writing essays, thesis’s, analyzing text and extracting information, etc.

 
And if this year’s English class has taught me anything so far,
 
 
It’s that, you will be taught how to read and write.
 
 
But it’s you who decides what you’re actually gonna do about it.
 
I know,
 
It’s very spooky stuff.
 

8:53-9:48 AM: Photo Arts 1
 
So, obviously I’m not as tech-savvy as my dad. I just know the basics, like the general elements of coding; and a touch of graphic design,
 
 
( I don’t know if anyone else would include that as a part of general technological knowledge,
 
 
But I am so deal with it.)
 
 
I’m definitely fascinated by computer engineering and how everything
works, but I also like the artistic aspects of technology. Like how we can use it to make things. Like music or even actual art. With technological advances, more inventions open up, and with more inventions, more people who need to use and operate them. Isn’t cool how just a couple simple commands can make a little box do something so simple, yet intricately complicated?
 
 
A regular day in my photography class mainly consists of everyone just chilling while listening to music and editing the photos we took in Lightroom or Photoshop. At the start of the school year, we were assigned either a Mac desktop or a Macbook, and we got to choose which one was more of our preference. Since the Mac is more my zone, I chose to use that, rather than a laptop; since I was more prone to dropping a laptop, than a 12.5 pound desktop monitor. And I feel like I’m more comfortable with an Apple desktop since that’s what I use at home to do homework, projects, and obviously blog.
 
I’d be really disappointed if you didn’t manage to figure that bit out.
 
In regards to the photographic part of the class itself, I’ve learned quite about a lot of things that I didn’t even know had so much value in the artistic world. And I finally got to learn how to properly set a camera to the settings needed for whatever situation we’re in; as well as how to really take good shots of your subjects and the differences between all the different angles and ways you can actually shoot a picture. Here is my first set of pictures from earlier this semester, all of which edited in Lightroom, this piece can also be interpreted as, my first on campus photo shoot with me nearly screwing up and not knowing half of what to do until later.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
They aren’t the best pictures, and while I was shooting these, I was clueless most of the time. But I can’t deny that it was highly amusing to take these pictures and edit them in digital programs used by so many people out there.
 
 9:48-9:58 AM: Brunch
 
Walking to each of my classes between passing periods at school is a spectacle in itself. My books in hand as I mentally do a once over to make sure I haven’t lost anything thing important, like a textbook or notebook. Checking the watch on my left wrist, tracking the time, and texting my parents a quick message or sending a pic of the homework or review to one of my friends who might’ve forgotten to write it down. In these little time increments; my mind is full, and yet so empty at the same time.
 
Because I probably lost something or left a book behind and my brain capacity is still dangerously low when I wake up at crack of dawn everyday.
 
During brunch, I usually just sit on a bench near my next class and munch on a nut bar while scrolling through my phone and checking emails, or texting my parents or a friend.
 
10:06-11:01 AM: Biology
 
Science is a favorite subject of mine, and I love the multiple branches it has, how everything has a purpose and when one thing happens, it triggers a multitude of other things to occur as well. Science also gives explanation to things that we ourselves couldn’t figure out on our own, like gravity for instance.
 
How is it that everything has matter, and mass, and yet we don’t float off into space but stay put?
 
Well, Isaac Newton had an apple fall on top of his head(I pity the poor apple, and his head)Mr. Newton, after nearly having the daylights knocked out of him by a fruit seemed to suddenly have acquired a revelation for the laws of physics.
 
And why do we not float away into space?
 
Because of gravity.
 

乁( ⏒ ͜ʖ ⏒ )ㄏ

 
A natural phenomenon in which anything with mass or energy automatically gravitate towards each other.
 
Like, um, hypothetical anchors!
 
We just finished learning the basics about population and the different parts of it, like population density, population growth, etc. And how to properly observe data and physically make a graph to compliment the data.
 
Which ironically coincided with my math lessons on graphs and curves a few weeks past.
 
Biology, Math,  and English, are the three classes that are required for us to graduate, and if you fail one of these class your first year, you gotta retake it sophomore year. Which happens a lot, but that doesn’t mean I want to so that’s that.
 
 
1:09 – 12:04 AM: Algebra 1
 
So, I’m not really a math girl. I mean, I can do it; and go one with a passing grade. But it always takes me a longer time than others to interpret all those numbers and questions and formulas like other people can. And I think my math skills certainly have gotten better over the years. While I used to struggle to get a solid grade that could at least pass the general requirements; now I can take a quarterfinal test and ace it.
 
With a few mistakes here or there.
 
But I still pass!
 
I really like my algebra teacher; she’s funny, engaging, and actually teaches us math in a way that isn’t confusing. I never thought I would be able to understand Mean Absolute Deviation as much as I do now. And actually be able to do it.  And so far we’ve only hand three our four tests, and they weren’t very major either, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t expect some bigger exams coming up in the near future; that of course we all need to prepare for.

All in all, I think Algebra is currently one of the only classes I have that doesn’t make me want to throw my textbook at my other classmates in pure rage and detestation.

Not that I have temper tantrums in my other classes of course.

But trust me I have been a hairs-width away from doing so.


12:04 – 12:34: Lunch 

I don’t have to describe lunch do I?

12:42 – 1:37: Spanish 2

Okay, so by default I would’ve been put into Spanish 1 like the majority of the other freshmen study body. But since I took Spanish for two years in middle school, I had the decision of advancing to the second year of high school Spanish, since we need a total of four years of high school Spanish; and I’ve gone to the second year; I only need two more years(I think. My knowledge of the Spanish programs and it’s requirements and stored somewhere else in my brain right now) and I can graduate with the bi-literacy seal under my belt. And colleges can swoop in and see that and consider me to be a part of their school. Which is great.

If I pass all those years of Spanish.

●  ﹏  ●

yippee.

Currently, with my two and a half years of Spanish, I’ve attained enough to be able to hold a conversation with someone who can speak Spanish, or learned it fully. But just like when I speak Tamil and Japanese, it’s very choppy at first when I start talking, and it takes me a while to warm up with the words. And it can go very similarly to this:

“Buenas Dias! Estoy bien! Como estás tu? Bueno! Como está tu familia? Eso es genial! Ay no! Yo tiene que ir! Adios! Nos vamos más tarde!”

Which literally translates to,

“Good morning! I’m good! How are you? Good! How is your family? That’s great! Oh no! I have to go! Goodbye! I’ll see you later!”

As you can see, the intention behind what I have to say makes sense, but when you take the literal context of it in English, it makes me sound illiterate. But what’s great, is that since I already kinda speak another language on my own at home with my family, which is Tamil. So I know how to accent my speech and roll my r’s. So when I speak Spanish out loud in class, I can properly pronounce everything the ways it’s actually supposed to sound, rather than a robotic, voice, that sounds computer generated.

But half the time I don’t know if I’m even pronouncing anything correctly and half the time while I say anything in class I glance at the teacher to see if I’m saying it right and I have no idea what I’m doing but you know it’s the effort right.

All, in all, it’s a good class. Great on college applications. All said an done.

1:45 – 2:40: Physical Education( P.E)(#-.-)

So I usually end the day with P.E. except on one block day(the back to back days where we only have half of our class each day but they’re twice as long.) And P.E. is pretty fun, and I enjoy running on the track and talking with the other athletes on campus. I also have a bushel of friends in the class that I usually stick with, so we can protect each other from flying projectiles that end with the word -ball. You know, basketball, baseball, tennis ball, football, soccer ball, dodgeball, cheese ball; you know, the usual. It’s also required to take P.E. for two years in high school in order to graduate.


After sixth period, the school days ends with a large heaving breathe. And we all go home. After PE. I drag my feet to the music room to grab my saxophone and then wait at the front of the school for my dad to pick me up. And when he finally swings by, I hop toss my stuff into the back seat and plop myself down, then melt into the seat of the car as my dad starts driving us home.