So, this took place a while ago; but my orthodontist said that I had a tooth that was all the way up into my gums so there was this incestuous gap towards the front of my mouth where a grown tooth was supposed to be. I already had braces on at the time so there was a short, stubby little wire that would stretch across that little gap. Of course, me being the ignorant person I am, just shrugged it of before I was told of the seriousness. So there we were, in about two or three months we caught a consulting appointment with a really sweet dental care dude and his crew who were also super chill.
Now, I’m sure there’s gotta be couple of you guys out there who have braces. And understand the struggles. You guys, you guys are my dudes? My people who understand the fact woeful fact that there are two sets of at least 11 or 12 metal brackets LITERALLY SUPER GLUED TO OUR TEETH. Do you understand the actual freaking context of that? It sounds like a torture device used in the medieval period! But, in retrospect, if you put the medieval torture bit aside; braces really aren’t that bad after a while. But I’m still just as eager to get them off.
So this little surgery would basically tear the gum that was covering that tooth so it could be exposed. And if this wasn’t done soon and properly, I would end up having dental problems when I’m older. Since said tooth was being a wuss and hiding away from the rest of it’s teeth buddies.
. . .
Hah, teeth buddies.
Anyway, a couple weeks later, my orthodontist would put a bracket over it.
There.
Done.
Easy peasy.
Simple Right?
HA.
Yeah right.
Every time someone tells this story to other people, he always says that it wasn’t a big deal, and that in other places it wouldn’t even be consider “surgery”. They could just take a sharp, dried, rice and cute your gums with that. And every time other people ask, he always tells them that it’s just a big deal over nothing.
But, anyone who thinks the same; well, just think for a moment. If it wasn’t a big deal would your orthodontist or dental surgeon tell you all the dangers of not having it done properly and at the right time? Would they just shrug it off and say that it isn’t a big deal? That’s part of their job okay? Telling people when something in their body is messed up is something they are required to do. They won’t just say, “Oh, it isn’t a big deal, just live with the pain when it comes later on! Whoop de doo.” or “Heh, anyone can do it, just ask one of your family members to just cut it for you! Without a medical license!”
*whoop de doo intensifies*
So, sorry to burst your bubble but I have a lot of respect for people in fields like doctoring, therapy, and dental care. Basically anything medicinal or physiological. And those of you out there who are studying or practicing this kinda stuff, well, kudos to you because you amazing people are the reason that the world is sometimes a better place to be in when we need it to be.
I mean, these people are the ones making sure you can be the best person you can be physically and mentally. Without them we wouldn’t have the decency to get ourselves checked when needed. We know what isn’t good to put into our bodies. These people are basically putting together people who are literally internally broken. This can be analogy similar to taking apart a computer and putting it back together. But, let me tell, from my heart and soul, this is something that is absolutely superhuman. It takes so much willpower, intelligence, and just courage to do what these incredible people do, just so we could live our lives happily and with no mental or physical problem stopping us from doing so.
Bottom line is, I have a lot of respect for people in these areas. And I know for a fact that a lot of you do as well.
Anyway, the procedure didn’t sound as bad as I thought it would be. They said I would be given laughing gas so I wouldn’t feel the pain. Upon hearing that my mind kinda went on hyper drive; mainly because I haven’t(well, to the extent of my memory)been given any chemical compounds to ease pain in any specific procedure. So obviously this was uncharted territory for me in terms of medicinal purposes. And before this happened I had never been given Anastasia, laughing gas, or anything else like these.
W e l l .
That may or may not be a lie, seeing that I haven’t confirmed those exact details with my parents.
Eh.
Oh well.
Our appointment was at like 8:00 in the morning so I obviously wasn’t in the best of moods, I was groggy and I kept rubbing my eyes. I dressed hastily, in ratty jeans that bunched up at my ankles(since I’m as tall as a gremlin), and a grey sweatshirt that’s way to big for me, with my school’s sport’s team logo on it.
Usually, on a regular day when I have school or I’m going out somewhere, my clothing style could probably described as practical, casual, comfortable, and kinda elegant? Like dresses, cute sweaters, skirts, hair bows, lots and lots of rings. I usually wear soft pinks or white, or dark blue’s. Floral prints too. I like wearing cat ears here and there for fun, (even if my parents don’t commensurate with my interests in that area. Sorry mom and dad 🙂
But when I have to rush out to the library or I only have a precious spare ten minutes to get ready for school because I overslept(again)I wear the same jeans, shirt a/o jacket. And that lovely morning was no exception.
Note the sarcasm, because that morning wasn’t lovely at all.
We drove to the clinic and I was in a pretty dreadful mood, the sky imitated my clairvoyant debacle, a misanthropic grey, mind you. The sun was merely a figment of one’s imagination, nowhere to be seen that obscured morning. The buildings looked dreary and uninviting as we passed by in search of the room we were seeking. The pale, sickening, beige paint on the walls looked almost dead. The colour itself had no life even though it had no connection whatsoever to natural elements in itself.
My internal monologue was extremely pessimistic that day, which obviously would’ve given me a very thorough scolding from my parents if any of my statements were said aloud. Now I don’t mean cussing and such, (I’m not that kinda person, jeez). But more or less of what I would written if I was writing a fight scene or something related and the protagonist wasn’t exactly conquering the physical dispute. Or if I was sitting in history class and I had to copy down a particularly flamboyant snippet of history that was the exact opposite of sunshine and rainbows.
Now, don’t get the wrong idea from reading the last couple words because I most certainly am not afraid of surgical procedures or anything that relates to physical pain in that matter. For example, if I’m having my blood drawn, I just stare as crimson liquid is being extracted from my own veins and rushing through thin, clear tubes before pooling into vial after glass vial before being carried away for testing and examination. And I just ignore the pain, even when there’s a fairly long needle penetrating the skin between my forearm and humerus.
I have watched a variety of different surgical operations on YouTube in my spare time and didn’t bury my face in my arms and on my desk when we watched a video of a women going into labor in science class last year for our life science segment. I’ve dissected a frog, a chicken wing, and a squid under a teacher’s supervision and guidance. And watched the dissection of a cow’s eyeball at our field trip to the Exploratorium in San Fransisco this year. The idea of pain or blood in general just doesn’t scare me in the least. And more recently, I’ve handled real human hearts from donors who gave their organs to the studies of human internal organs.
Though it doesn’t mean I won’t complain when I’m having cramps, a headache, or when I’m sick. My parents can tell you ALL about how much of a big crybaby I am in those cases. But it most absolutely never scares.
And I’m not saying that being scared isn’t okay. In fact I encourage you to be scared in any situation that may deem a frightening vibe to you. It’ll give you a sense of what your mental strengths and weaknesses are. Fear is what leads to bravery and when you’re afraid or you just need a moment to yourself and let yourself go, that’s nothing to be ashamed of. Age doesn’t matter when it involves how you truly feel on the inside. Sometimes you just need to hideaway in the shower or lock yourself in your bedroom and have a good cry. Knowing and feeling all these emotions is okay, and fear is one I wish people would show more often. It’s an indication to ourselves that we aren’t invincible, we have our flaws, and we’re all human. We all have an Achilles heel that we just can’t ignore. And the fears we don’t learn to address only grow to become our limits.
For example, I am absolutely terrified of spiders and thunder. And to a lot of people, these two fears are just stupid compared to actual serious fears or phobias. But in this rate of context, if you’re about to show me something along the horrid lines of thunder and or spiders, well all you’re gonna get from me is a big, fat, NOPE.
NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE.
NOPE.
HO-KAY WE GOT OFF TRACK AGAIN MOVING ON.
The cool surgeon dude settled me into those chair things that go up and down at specific angles. You know, the ones that have in like dental offices and stuff. He showed me a machine that had a mask attached to it, and he told me it was what held the laughing gas and the mask was for me to put on so I can intake it. But apparently my nose was too small so he had to switch out the regular one with an extra-small mask that would be going on and around my nose. I really like the man because he was constantly reassuring me that there was nothing to worry about and that I could just relax and let them do the work.
He also told me that he wasn’t giving too much of a laughing gas dosage and I would feel when it’s kicking in if my hand would start tingling or if I was starting to the get the feeling that I was floating. So naturally, if someone told me that I would get the sense that I was floating. Well, I think it’s safe to say that I got just a tad bit excited. Anyway, the doctor dude said that he had started up the laughing gas and was giving me a small dosage to start.
Obviously, I don’t remember exactly what happened, throughout the surgery since it was just me, with my mouth wide open, while there were needles and other sharp metal objects occupying the space of my mouth. But, I could literally feel them scraping their scalpels against my tooth.And trust me, that is not a fun thing to think about, let alone experience. It was just plain uncomfortable and gave me the sense that my tooth was eroding before
By the end of the surgery my entire right cheek felt like it had swollen to the size of a mini basketball, it was numb and just moving my jaw was uncomfortable. My mouth was also sore from the injections to keep my mouth insensate, so I wouldn’t feel anything else while they were working.
Before my dad and I left, Mr. Doctor Dude gave me a talk on what I should do when I get home and what I should do about the pain, etcetera, etcetera. He gave me some little packages of gauze in case it started to bleed again. My dad kept making fun of me for complaining so much as we were driving home, but I wasn’t in the mood to start an argument right then and their and tried rolling with it.
When we got home, my mom obviously was empathetic and gave me the usual:
“Ohmypoorbabyyoumustfeelawfulherehavesomewaterareyoutiredodyouneedanythinghereliedownohwaitiforgotthatsidemusthurthereletmegetapillowohnodontpassoutjustyetineedawordforworddescriptiononwhathappenedandwhathtyetoldyouandwhatweneedtodoifsomethinggoeswrong.”
Honestly, it was too much for me to comprehend in a span of five minutes after I stepped through the door, and all I wanted to do was just curl up into a little ball and never appear on the face of the Earth again. All I really wanted to do was hide away in my bedroom and just tuck myself into the sheets and completely block off hearing anything from the rest of the house, by putting in my earbuds. That day, I just wasn’t really great at being a good person in society in general. I was tired, I was hungry, but if I moved my jaw it would just get more sore. I was super irritable, like, just a small nip at what little shred of human decency I had would just make me go ballistic. And it’s really hard to get me out of that state. It’s a serious problem.
Don’t you guys just have those days where you just lose all of your cool? Like every little thing just aggravates you, and you just lash out on the first person you see? It would be a massive lie if I said I don’t. Some mornings I just wake up with a furrow on my brow and I’m just a foreboding mess that doesn’t want to socialize with anyone. And we all have those days don’t we? I personally think that’s it’s just impossible to always have a good attitude, because frankly, it gets tiring. Now I’m not saying that you shouldn’t put yourself out there just because you don’t like being around people. In fact, I personally think that the phrase “I have an allergy to people” is just an amplification excuse to not be a decent human being everyday, and just be a wuss. There is clearly, a distinct difference between introvert, someone who’s just physically and or mentally drained, or a misanthrope.
All three of which have no relation whatsoever and it’s just unkindly to assume that they are.
That day I was more on the introverted side rather than my usual “Put myself out there” attitude. And it wasn’t even the surgery itself! It was all the work put into numbing my mouth.
But, I obviously “recovered” and I realize now, that I was just a massive wimp. And as I told a couple of my friends this, one of them came to my house a couple weeks later with a bouquet of these gorgeous flowers for me. And this was also a friend who had to get her wisdom teeth removed. So really it should’ve been vice versa.
Well, that was just a short little anecdote for you all, since I haven’t posted anything in a while. There’s a lot of works currently in the making, AND I have a lot of ideas that are definitely going to surprise you! I hope you got somewhat of a good laugh out of this. But before I end this post, I want to give you a little quote that I came up with and I want to see if you guys can understand the context between that quote and my post.
Smiles can melt someone, heal someone, drive someone absolutely mad, in a number of ways. But the best feelings are when I smile to people I see everyday and care about, and the smile they give me in return just drips with this haze of happiness and content, and we learn to lure each other into our own mystical biospheres as we fall deeper into conversation. But our smiles never fade and our eyes never stop twinkling. It’s a feeling that even the most supreme being in the universe can’t take away. And it’s these kinds of interactions that let me have the best friendships with people. And not just with the one’s I’ve come to know all my life. No screen, no keyboard, no text bubbles. Just human to human. And the only tools are our voices and our smiles.