Category Archives: Comedy

Comedy, Personel Things

Love yourself!

To give you guys some perspective, I had this post drafted a couple weeks before the current date, and I had unearthed it a couple days ago. I thought it would be a something fun and silly for you guys to just laugh at you know? Just a super lighthearted post that doesn’t involve too much deep thought. All you have to do is sit down somewhere comfortable and read through my usual shenanigans.

Alright, onto today’s topic!

Do you ever get that feeling when you look at the mirror, and are just taken aback by your own physical reflection? Because the thing about this is that, we’re literally thinking constantly all day. Kept with our own mind and thoughts. And that is what we know best. We know nothing better than the inner workings of our own individual minds. But we don’t spend that equivalent amount of time each day, looking at our mirror images and viewing every technicality in our design(Thank goodness).

Keeping that in mind, this leaves us with every single trait that we categorize ourselves into and what type of person we are, and what type of voice our minds have. So when you look in the mirror, you only see what others see in your presence. Which is your physical being.

Every time I look at my reflection in the morning(which is like forty-five seconds on a good day), it’s still hard for me to put two and two together and realize, “This is the body that contains the myriad of weird thoughts that I have everyday? Huh.”

To sum it up for you, I have absolutely 0% chance of growing anymore. Which was literally confirmed by my doctor. Just two inches. And I could’ve at least been 5’0. But no. My genes just had to screw up my chances of being an average-height human being that can reach things on their own.

So dear friends, for the sake of entertaining you all with my own unending pain due to my physical characteristics, I present to you a post that many of you taller readers cannot relate to. But are free to laugh and take this lightly. But those fellow shorties out there, this is for you.

Problems of being short:

(AKA, the everyday adventures(mostly struggles) of small babies around the world.

  1. Being unable to reach anything.

Attempting to reach things when you’re under 5’4( give or take)is a hazard to your life. With this pinnacle of habit, it has ended with disastrous attempts of reaching for snacks, boxes, books, etc.

A book on a high shelf?

Well good luck getting that thing down without a concussion.

Snacks located on a high shelf and you’re famished?

Sorry, a bowl of cereal is your lunch now.

Trying to mount something on the wall?

Even that stool you’re standing on is useless at this point so you might as well get someone else to do it to save yourself from going to the hospital.

There have been countless moments where I’ve embarrassed myself or nearly ended up decapitated or with a dislocated body part because I couldn’t reach something, and one incident nearly ended up with me having a dislocated ankle.

Moral of all of this is: Ask others to assist you!

2. Being babied.

So this goes for everyone I’ve met at school and have become comfortable enough to befriend. Be it long term or acquaintance, I have no idea if it’s just a me problem or if other people out there have this too. But people I’ve met and have become close with me just warmed up to the fact that I was, as they like to call it, “pocket sized.”

What I’m basically saying is that if you’re short; people will think you’re cute.

I’ve undergone my share of cheek squishes, surprise piggybacks, back hugs, face pinches, head pats, height based nicknames, you name it. And this has all gone to the point where I could be doing something completely normal, and then easily predict what my friend’s reactions will be so I can mentally brace myself for the babying that is to come. But of course they won’t overstep boundaries or anything like that because true friends won’t step over your personal space bubble when you don’t want them to.

But hey, love and attention is great, and it’s nice to know that there are people out there who love you for who you are and make sure you know it too.

3. Having freakishly small hands, feet, or both. (This may not apply to all ‘short’ people)

Yes, I have both. Need I say more?

To categorize my fingers and toes as actual parts of my body makes me question myself and the prescription glasses I’m wearing, because all I see when I take a peak at my toes and fingers, are chubby nubbins of flesh that are as small as a child’s. And I’m not sure if that’s entirely normal.

One time, as a joke, I measured my pinkie to see how big it was. But I was mistaken by assuming they were actually ‘big.’ But it doesn’t matter, I will proudly display my 5 centimeter pinkie whenever I make pinkie promises.

Do I need to start drinking more milk?

Do I need to start bathing in milk?

When I first started playing alto sax last year, my fingers weren’t able to reach one of the most crucial keys in the entire instrument. Which made me pretty spitting mad when I was put up to do one of my first jazz solos on the spot while I was physically incapable of actually playing. And when I started playing Bari sax for a short period of time(which according to my research is 6 feet, 4 inches, and roughly 45 pounds. Don’t believe me? Look it up.)it was essentially a lost cause and I couldn’t even carry that thing without asking some other poor soul to help me waddle home with it in my clutches.

I can probably write a whole list about the problems of having small hands and feet. So I will.

Hands:

  • It takes a lot of effort to play an instrument. More than it does for an actual person with average sized hands.
  • Nail polish looks terrible and makes your fingers look like deformed Teletubbies.
  • Big rings and other statement jewelry are too big on your hands and fingers.
  • Thumb wars are the worst and you always always lose.
  • Trying to wrap your hands around anything is literally impossible. (Examples: Footballs, rackets, stacks of books, bundles of something, thick utensils.)
  • When shaking hands with someone, your hands will get crushed.
  • Gloves never fit.

Feet/Short legs:

  • “One size fits all” is a lie.
  • Other people always want to compare their feet to yours. (Please explain to me why)
  • Your feet can easily get stuck in places that people with bigger feet can’t get stuck in.
  • People always point out the size of your feet(Please explain to me why).
  • Riding bicycles is pointless when your feet don’t reach the pedals.

Upsides of being short:

  • More leg room in cars/flights/etc.
  • Showers will never be too short
  • Shirts/tops meant for taller people can easily be turned into a cute dress or oversized fashion
  • Blankets will never be too short, so your feet will never stick out
  • You learn how to become a stealth ninja(from having to climb on top of things in order to reach something without damage)
  • Tall people can protect you from harsh weather(sun, rain, wind, etc)
  • You never have to worry about hitting your head on doorways
  • You can take a nap in even the smallest of spaces
  • Getting hugs from taller people is the best
  • You can where children’s shoes/mittens/clothing with no trouble
  • Calf-length socks easily become knee-length socks

Even with all of these struggles, we should all still love ourselves for who we are. Don’t ever, EVER, think that the way you look determines your worth. I cannot stress this enough, you are beautiful and gorgeous on the inside. This post was honestly just for laughs, but in all seriousness you should always embrace the beauty you have. Even if it takes some time to realize it.

Stay safe, safe happy, and love yourself!

Comedy, The Best

The(Insane)Adventures of Blue and Tomato+ April Favorites

Update: Schools out for the rest of the school year.

ლ(¯ロ¯”ლ)

Oh dear god.

Ever since school ended and the “Shelter in Place” order was put out, my time has been consumed by completing work in the morning, and chilling for the rest of the day. “Chilling” meaning binge-watching cooking videos(even though I’m hopeless at cooking)and cleaning my room.

Like, everyday.

Even though it’s always clean.

Hey, I see you judging me. Don’t do that. ｡◕ – ◕｡

Ever since our exceptionally increased time staying indoors(sorry, extroverts), I’ve found myself outdoors longer. Either working with my iPad and keyboard, or just with a cup of tea watching on like a proud general as my siblings wreak havoc into our innocent backyard.

But I’ve also been looking around at the heavy amount of life that surrounds our house.

(And no, I don’t mean the other humans stuffed at home as well. Sorry.)

Birds, squirrels, insects, everything you can imagine that reside in forest-like environments. Everyday is a symphony of chittering birds as golden light filters through the newly sprouting leaves on the trees. Our backyard has become covered with a translucent green canopy that glows with the sun’s touches. Thick puffs of clouds spread across the cobalt sky, so bright that just looking up at the sky distresses your eyes.

But, there are a handful of little critters that seem to be the soul of the natural heartbeat of our backyard.

Blue,

Tomato #1, and Tomato #2.

Oh, and we mustn’t forget The Honorable Sir Peanut.

So, these may sound quite ridiculous. But each name is attached to a creature with a story. Thus the names given are to suit them, and for us to identify our little friends as they come and go through our home as they please.

Lets starts with Blue:

Blue:

  • Species: Bird
  • Type: Blue Jay
  • Likes: Peanuts; terrorizing smaller birds
  • Dislikes: Squirrels
  • Story behind the name: I think it’s quite obvious why “Blue” seemed to be fitting for this particular bird. My dad shall take credit for this highly creative name.

Tomato #1 and #Tomato 2

  • Species: Squirrel
  • Like: Peanuts, bird seeds, gymnastics
  • Dislikes: Birds
  • Story behind the name(s): When we realized these two squirrels had taken a liking to our backyard(and the tons of food and shelter provided)my brother took it up to himself to name these two. I don’t quite understand why tomatoes seemed to be fitting for two squirrels. But I can’t really argue with a stubborn 8 year-old boy.

The Honorable Sir Peanut

  • Species: Caterpillar?
  • Likes: Unknown
  • Dislikes: Unknown
  • Story behind the name: So, a few days back, my brother and I were out on the deck admiring the rain when we saw a little green blob floating right in front of our eyes like magic. Stupefied and curious, we wondered how the little thing could be floating with absolutely nothing supporting it. So out of spite, I hazardously stuck out my hand so it was aligned a foot above the gravity-defying caterpillar. My hand was laid out horizontally in a ninja-like position. And just like a ninja, I chopped my hand in front of the air above the caterpillar. To my shock, the caterpillar disappeared. Most likely pulled along with whatever invisible force(or spider web)that it was attached to. Therefore I did the most logical thing and screamed bloody murder out of panic. I checked all over my clothes and hair for any sign of a little green glob crawling on me. I was still a little shaken even when I found no signs of it finding home in the folds of my jacket. However, I felt bad about how the whole situation turned out. Therefore I gave him the name, The Honorable Sir Peanut, because he is honored for not fighting me and my stupidity. And Peanut, because he was small and cute. Like a peanut. May you live honorably, wherever you are.

Blue and the Tomato Twins(I have no idea if they’re actually related)are always fighting in the spring and summer time. The squirrels are always stretching in unfathomable positions to get bird-seed out of the bird feeders. While simultaneously scaring away smaller birds from that specific bird feeder.

Blue is an angry one who swoops down gracefully before deciding to terrorize the birds who are a bit smaller then him. But they’re a sucker for peanuts and on multiple occasions, wandered into our house searching for peanuts. And sometimes, my dad would lure Blue with a trail of peanuts through the kitchen doorway.

The other animals that come by are snakes(garden snakes not, like, anacondas)my dad found them one day in our side yard, and freed them. Those poor little babies were probably alone and split form their mother. So I was happy that they were with their mother.

There are also little mice who crawl in the corners, crows that seat themselves on the telephone poles, and two pigeons who make it a point to fly as close to me as possible before launching themselves a hairsbreadth away from my head before flying away. But we’ve seen those two pigeons since our days in the apartment complex we used to live in. So it’s kinda like looking at our past before moving into this house. There is also a slick, black, service cat(a cat that comes to your neighborhood to catch and eat mice. Frightening, I know).

The cat comes by every so often to our deck, well, more like under our deck, looking for mice to eat for its next meal. I’ve tried each time to create a connection with it because I love dogs and cats. But this particular cat seems to have a liking to sashay away the moment I turn to greet it. And when it does turn around, it’s emerald green eyes stare into my soul like it’s judging me for coming outside wearing my leggings inside out. Then it swishes it’s tail and turns away. Leaving me wondering if I’ve unknowingly waged a war against all felines.

To be honest, without these creatures wreaking absolute mayhem across our backyard, our home wouldn’t be home. Sure family and friends can make a place be a home. But the little things outside our homes can be just as welcomed as the ones inside. So treat everything with respect, even it can sometimes be irritating. They have just the same amount of will to live as you do. They have every right to live on the same land you do. They are not inferior to the human race and should never be put into any category before our own species.

Our world is going through some difficult times right now, and my last post circulated around the Coronavirus pandemic, but I think I’ve fed you enough of my perspective of it. This half of the post is dedicated to just little things that can help you get through our prolonged stay at home and social-distancing. I know I did this last time, but those were particular apps that cultivated my needs and interests. The difference here is that I will be recommending things that can apply to a vast amount of people and not just myself.

I will try to do something each month on this blog. So today’s would be something like “April Favorites.” I’ll try to do this at least every month.

(NONE OF THIS IS SPONSORED ALL RIGHTS GO TO THE RESPECTFUL OWNERS OF THE FOLLOWING ARCHIVES/LABELS/NAMES)

Apps

  • Tide – Tide is a mindfulness app that is very helpful for productivity, meditation, and sleep. It provides nature sounds for sleep or work. This app also uses the “Pomodoro” method. A timer will be set, and for a specific amount of time you will work, but then once that timer is over, you will take a break for another chunk of time before working again. Personally, I like this method because you can work very well without getting overworked.
  • Quizlet – This is an app that can be used by students and teachers alike. You can create quizzes, flashcards, lessons, etc. Based on whatever it is that you need to study, or need to teach your students. This is extremely helpful if you are a visual or verbal learner. Because you can listen/see the comprehension.
  • Notability – I mentioned this app in my last post but I’ll go into a bit more depth this time. This is quite possibly the best note-taking app I’ve ever used so far. It has a simple interface, but is packed with extremely useful features. For example, you can take audio recordings if you’re in a lecture or meeting. Then you can play back the audio and take notes or touch them up with added detail. I highly recommend this for everyone, but especially students. This has helped me so much for nearly all of my classes.
  • Khan Academy – This is extremely useful if you need extra help practicing something, but you’re struggling academically. Or if you learn something better if someone is teaching it to you. You can search anything in Math, Science, English, History, whatever, and it’ll pop up with so many lessons, videos, and activities to help you with it. This isn’t just an app, but also a website online.
  • Epic! – This is also an app/website, and is great if you have little ones at home. They provide a full selection of popular books for children, with audios as well. Along with a wide array learning videos.

Movies

I tried to do a selection of different genres so you can find the stuff you like.

  • To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before
  • The Darkest Minds
  • Gravity
  • Interstellar
  • Cinderella(Disney Live Action)
  • Aladdin(Disney Live Action)
  • Mulan(My favorite movie. I just had to put it in)
  • Avengers(Just watch all of them, there’s no shame)
  • Harry Potter(But please read the book first)

Anime

  • Yuri On Ice – This is an anime about a male Japanese figure skater who is the ace of his country. But finds himself in a long slump when he takes a very low place in a major global competition. Finally, he finds himself wanting to skate again, and love it again. This is a beautiful story with equally gorgeous animation. The music is also incredibly well thought out. This anime has major character development that I admired even before finishing the series.
  • Free! – Free! Is about an extremely talented swimmer who takes on finding his place in competitive swimming again, overcoming darkness in his past, and renewing his love for competing with his friends beside him in the pool lanes. This anime has such an amazing plot and story line, character development is subtle yet so spot on, and the exquisite animation and stylistics just makes me wanna cry. As a former swimmer, I found myself being reacquainted with the pool environment, and the zing of being in a competitive space. This anime has a stunning story and a very deep story that embraces the mental aspects that come to being pressured when you’re especially good at something.
  • Gakuen Babysitters – This anime is super cute and fluffy. About a Ryuichi and his baby brother who live with the dean of a a very high end school after there parents pass away in an accident. This anime follows the days of Ryuichi as he works as a babysitter in the school for the children of teachers who work on his campus.
  • Pokémon – C’mon, you can’t go wrong with Pokémon.

I hope this can give some of you a bit of comfort and something to look forward to when you wake up and are ready to start the day. This is definitely a time where we need to support each other. And words are so powerful right now so please, show your love to those you care about and keep them in your mind in this time when touch is so dangerous. But also take this time to self reflect and care for yourself. We need to keep our physical bodies healthy, but never forget that your emotions are just as important as your heartbeat.