My fingers and jaw are currently recovering from working the entire day because they are now about to fall of from using them so harshly throughout the day due to my undying interest of playing a long metal instrument with holes and keys all over the thing. Yep if you haven’t guessed I had I concert yesterday. In fact I originally wanted to title this post“How to train your lungs to produce more air while you use your mouth and fingers and let them die slowly .” But I thought better of it and realized that freaking out viewers is the best way to lose them so… Yeah. Anyway, all the three hour rehearsals were what were supposed to lead up to the big concert at the high school we would perform at.  Of course my pores were literally excreting so much that I had to constantly wipe my hands on my black jeans and try not to ruin my white performance shirt while sitting on the hard chair next to the other flutes in the section.

Okay but first lets fast forward to about a half hour before.

My dad and I parked in the empty school lot, my dad questioning why I dragged him their so early, and I questioning my own IQ level and if I should be held back a grade merely because of my terrible listening skills. I should as my pediatrician if I have ADD or ADHD. Hahaha Just kidding. I climbed out twisting the fabric of my JUST IRONED SHIRT from habit. (When I get nervous or anxious some part of me is doing something, my eyes darting back anf forth between a specific area, or I might sweat profusely and my face starts to heat up, or I start to chew on my lip or my fingertips, I also start tapping my toes or my knees start bopping up and down, too much info, yeah kay. Sorry) Anyway I looked around the parking lot and cursed under my breath realizing that NO ONE ELSE WAS THERE. My dad gave me a dirty look as I laughed nervously and shrugged my shoulders.  Of course we had to find the gymnasium because that was where we were going to start playing and warming up. Or at least thats what I thought.

We walked through the cold, as I exhaled, puffs of my breath appeared in front of me like a dragons flares coming from its nostrils. My dad started talking saying it was actually a good idea to come early to avoid confusion. I really liked the campus of the school and the gym was HUMONGOUS. The plywood was bright and there were chairs setted up in rows for the bands(middle school honor band{the band moi is in}then the high school honor band after us)I snapped out of my daze realizing that the band director, the conductor, and the district music teachers were all looking at me like I was crazy. They looked quite concerned until I cleared my throat and gave a small smile and wave which they received graciously and all beamed back at me. The conductor patted my shoulder as my dad exchanged a smile and nod with the band director and the conductor before following me to the large bleaches. My black flats made a distinct squeaking sound as i shuffled across the polished wood floor like it was a gigantic door mat waiting to be stepped on. Oh one more thing that I forgot to mention in the last paragraph and a half:

I

was

the

only

band student

there.

How embarrassing.

I tried not to make i contact with anyone and prayed that no one else would see me. My dad sat on the bleachers and got out his DSLR camera and started tinkering with the modules and stuff. But then he just HAD to ANNOUNCE TO THE WORLD:

“Kanmani lets take a selfie on my phone! Come on put your flute together and hold it up!“

“Dad, your kidding right?!“

“Nope.“

“UHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAHHHHHHHHH screw you.“

“HAHAHAH.“

My dad had the brilliant idea of standing in a way so our backs faced the rest of the world behind us and I honestly felt like I was going to hyperventilate when the sole of my shoe hit the back of the bleachers in front of the ones we were STANDING ON.

Yes genius.

I sat back down with my heart racing and smacked my dad on the arm as he just shrugged it off as if being smacked with unlimited force is the infinitesimal predicament he could be in. Okay maybe it was but give me a break alright?  Soon other students started trickling in, sporting the same expression I wore when realizing the time and amount of people there were in the place I was supposed to be in at this supposedly correct time. I hopped one by one on each set of bleachers with my flute and music in one hand. I gave my dad a look like,

Igottagetdowntherebecausetheyareprobablygonnatakeustoplayinthethemusicroomforthisschoolandwarmupfortheconcertsoyeahdontfreakoutandliterallysendasearchpartyformesoyeahbye.

A lady led me and the other music students into a small music room close by and everyone was just in there warming up, light chatter filling the room. I felt a tap on my shoulder so I turned around and greeted by the smiling face of one of my best friends Thalia. She had her alto sax strapped to her neck and her fingers were resting on the keys of the the brass. We started talking about random stuff like Percy Jackson fanfics that we want to write, Harry Potter conspiracies, and Hamilton stuff that we both want to binge our money on though we both have to resist. Soon a teacher comes in and starts putting songs on a speaker in the background, the atmosphere electrifying.

Soon A Thousand Years starts playing and everyone is starting to sing along to the song:

I can do it

I will get through it

But I am only human

And I bleed when I fall down

I am only human

And I crash and break down

Then Gasoline by Halsey starts playing:

You cant wake up this is not a dream

You are part of a machine you are not a human being

But then… Hamilton starts playing and….Well.. When Thalia and I are even in a ten foot radius of any place playing Hamilton its. A blur:

Soon The Schuyler Sisters starts playing:

Thals and Me: *GASP*

Thals and Moi: IVE BEEN READIN COMMON SENSE BY THOMAS PANE SOME SAY THAT IM INTENSE OR IM INSANE YOU WANT A REVOLUTION I WANT A REVELATION SO LISTEN TO MY DECLARATION.

WE HOLD THESE TRUTHS TO BE SELF EVIDENT THAT ALL MEN ARE CREATED EQUAL AND WHEN I MEET THOMAS JEFFERSON IMMA COMPEL HIM TO INCLUDE WOMAN IN THE SEQUEL

Everyone else in the room: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Thals and Me: WORK

Yeah that moment probably made everyone else in that room question why they were in the same area as to crazy Hamilton fangirls that shouldn’t be exposed to anything anymore.

IT WAS WORTH IT.

After that adrenaline rush and(trying to convince the others that we certainly were NOT mental and should be sent to a hospital for special needs care)we said hi to Arwen and our other friend Damia. We continued singing along to every song playing(unfortunately for everyone else in the room)until finally the band director walked in and told us to file into the gym and into our seats. Of course I had to try not to bang my flute into the backs of my peers who are at least a foot taller than me. How is that possible, I do not know anymore. We entered and arranged ourselves into our proper chairs, my dad was still seated at the top of the bleachers and accompanied with Arwen’s father. Both of them probably talking to each other about the mechanism of there high-def cameras. I took out my sheet music and placed them on the stand. in my head I whistled at how nice the stands were. WAY better than the ones we use at school.

We warmed up as a band with simple exercises  to warm up our instruments(literally). Then soon it was time to start our first song: Drunken Sailor. Honestly we sounded better than how we sounded in every rehearsal combined and I could tell the rest of the audience was  S H O O K. 

I was sad when we finished all of our other songs and we bowed. But I did have something else to look forward to that night. Watching the high school Honor Band. Now let me tell you something, when the words Honor, and High School are in the same title, you better believe that the people participating in that elite group should not be underestimated. Alright, pace youselves, I feel a rant coming on…

OH MY GODS THEY SOUNDED SO WHAT THE HECK I DID NOT EXPECT THAT AT ALL THE BASS DRUM SOUNDS SO GOOD AND LOUD AND AMAZING WHAT THE HECK AND THE FLUTES ARE ACTUALLY AUDIBLE AND THE TRUMPETS AND THE BASSOON AND THE CLARINETS AND THE TIMPANY AAAAAAHHHHHHH. THEY SOUNDS SO GOOD ARWEN ARWEN ARWEN ARE YOU HEARING THIS OH MY FINICKING GODS THIS IS. I FEEL LIKE A WIMP RIGHT NOW.

ajjknsvdlnvlnfsdlv;nfnjdf;lnvsnv;snvlsnv;lnsvjksn

AAAAAHHHHUUUHHHH

I probably gripped Arwens forearm a tad bit to tight because there were literally splotches of red on her arm. I am ashamed. Honestly(in my opinion)my honor band versus the high school band is basically like a comparison of a fifth grade beginning band versus the San Francisco Symphony. On the car ride home my heart was still racing and my mind was just a puddle of concentrated goo. It was obvious my dad felt the same. I should start wearing a tag around my neck saying: Under the Influence of Good Music .

Hey maybe then people wont underestimate me.

The point of this post is really to make you understand the music makes lust makes life at least a hundred times better. When you are happy you enjoy the beat, when you are sad, you understand the lyrics. Music can make you feel like you can, do anything. Playing an instrument is even more amazing. Every time you play you get this feeling that makes you feel…Electric. Like a hellfire was let loose into your veins. I always pity those people who only play an instrument for like a year and then give a stupid excuse like Oh I hate the teacher, or I am way to busy, or I sound horrible thats why I gave up. Just because you have those excuses does not give you the right to give up. Progression takes time, its not like you’ll sound like Mozart the instant you learn how to read and write sheet music. If so, then whoever thought that is a incestuous bastard. I know that sounds a bit too harsh but this just pisses me off so much. Yeah sorry about that *cough* NOT *cough*.

Music is something I literally cant live without. I write with music playing in my headphones or on speakers blaring through the whole house. My siblings are influenced by music on my behalf.  Music is literally like my life okay. (okay and art and books), and its a fact that I listen to music more than I listen to my parents.

Anyway signing off for now but, don’t take what I say fo granted. If you do, you are going to regret it. So yeah.

Later.

Headphones  O N

World  O F F